Similac’s Mommy Wars video…thoughts

Similac’s Mommy Wars video
Similac produced a new video about the perils of the mommy wars and how ultimately we should come together and stop our battles. I posted the video on my page because, ironically, the day the ad filmed I was in the park sitting on a picnic blanket. There also happened to be another mother/author who has written a book about attachment parenting standing there too. The irony put this ad on my radar, What are the odds?

When I was first starting out, pregnant, eighteen years ago, I learned everything I needed to know through the unsolicited advice of strangers. I bought books on pregnancy and birth and they sucked, they told me how to go along. It was a mother that worked with me that mentioned hiring a midwife, I had never heard of such a thing except historically. It was a group of mothers who told me that they had a home births. It was a group of mothers who told me that my idea, ‘breastfeeding for three months’ was a great place to start, but maybe I should reserve the right to continue. And finally it was at a La Leche League meeting that I found solutions for the millions of things that didn’t seem to be working about breastfeeding.

I found this new information through an archaic idea, mother to mother support, and it was awesome. The advice was non-judgemental in its intention and perhaps more importantly my perception. Mother to mother support created the momentum that built the surge in breastfeeding that we all experience and benefit from today. Mother to mother support is extremely powerful.

The Mommy Wars didn’t exist. And whether the first battle line was drawn by a judgmental mother, or a mother who erroneously perceived herself judged. The corporations that peddle baby stuff profit handsomely by fanning the flames. They make it all but impossible to go back to helping each other with their fake breastfeeding education and ‘sanctimonious forgiving’ if you have difficulty breastfeeding.

Mother to mother support is all but gone—unless a mother asks, and you can tell she really wants to know, and you phrase your answer perfectly well, and apologize profusely for any missteps—but why would she ask, when she believes a judgment is coming?

Now Similac wants to tell us that the Mommy Wars are silly and that we should just think of the children and stop. Better yet Agree to Disagree. This solution is still more of the same, divisive and controlling. It makes them money if we argue and don’t help each other. It makes them money if we agree that we are all equally silly and don’t have any help to give.

It’s still not Mother to Mother support in all of its glory. We shouldn’t agree to disagree as if all things are equal. All actions aren’t equal. And everyone of us still has things to learn.

We mothers are amazing wondrous caring people. We give birth and feed our young and most of the time we learn as we go. It’s a difficult process but Mother to Mother support can be transformative.

So please don’t buy into the idea that the Mommy Wars exist, don’t judge or feel judged and voila! they’re all gone. And the inverse, please don’t agree to disagree, or not help, or  pass along your wisdom. It’s not the way we grow and learn. Instead, ask for help, seek out advice, offer support and maybe just maybe we can get our power back.

2008 resolution 6-Spread Good Thoughts


Free, Free, the Comics are FREE!

…So, there’s some big news around here, I’ve dismantled the membership portion of the site.
All the comics, new and old will now be free, to anyone. Enjoy.

There are a few reasons for this dramatic shift, some involving the f$%^&*@# technology which has been an absolute bear since I started, and still this week there were 4 members without access, I’ve spent too much time in support forums. Too much.

But, most of the reasons involve membership in any club. I want the comics to be free so that a newly pregnant mama will see them. They’re timely, they editorialize current events, they need to be seen by thousands of people. A day. I’m going to go back to my original model which is a combination of magical thinking: “If I do what I love and give it to the world, good things will come back to me”, selling products (the shirts and bags and calendars are almost ready! Books are here!) and selling ad space (if you know someone tell them to contact me ;o) Also, Kachingle. Perhaps a donation jar. But seriously, if you adore the comics and you know you do, buy a book, tell a friend, if you see someone advertising with me, buy something from their shop. These little things will help.

So, for those of you who joined me on this little adventure, thank you. To those who couldn’t afford to, that’s okay, enjoy the comics, send them to a pregnant mama who needs a laugh.

A great big oxytocin-filled hug to you,
Happy Buy Nothing Day,

ps. oh, and I also dismantled that blasted slider and the magazine theme squares, for those that are technical-lingo challenged that means my site now looks like a regular ol’ blog. It’s more user friendly. You’re welcome.

pss. Kind thoughts, happy thank yous, kisses, compliments, and rejoicing can happen in the comments below or on facebook. I’ll join you!

Tech issues in the world of Mama…

…Hopefully most of you have no idea that there are a few ahem, issues with the membership program. Most notably paypal takes your fees and then doesn’t bother to tell my head of membership rolls (my website) that it’s taken your fees, so my website says (obnoxiously), “you will not pass the gate to see the comics.” It’s all very unpleasant. It’s not terribly widespread, but if it’s happened to you, please let me know. Don’t suffer in silence! ;o)

This is an email I just sent to a membership plugin/paypal victim, explaining it all in technical terms:

Thanks for letting me know, my paypal account keeps disabling my whatchamacallit and then my whoyee can’t talk to my whatsit. I’m trying to get in touch with the king of whereintheworld to find out what he plans to do with it, but his number is understandably unlisted. Best I can come up with is yelling at my computer. I like that better than my plan the other day in which I flailed about until I knocked my coffee onto my keyboard. The good thing was that for 24 hours I didn’t know what was happening in my cyber world ;o)

Now that makes sense, huh? If you find that you can’t get in to see the comics, though you should be able to, drop me a line……

Who has the best Breastfeeding Facebook Page?

…Uh, me! I can say that while still being humble because my super-fan/friend Stephanie Morales runs the page over there in the land of facebook… you may have noticed recently that she uploaded some really awesome Breastfeeding Symbols for anyone to use. Beautiful!!! (see below) Hundred or more on And if you’ve never been there before, like us, why don’t ya? And if you’re not on Facebook, seriously? Come on!!!

And it got me thinking that we should nominate the facebook page that she’s been working on so tirelessly for this contest: Favorite Breastfeeding Pages and Groups on Facebook The page has my name on it so I feel weird nominating it myself. So come on guys, let’s help get Stephanie some awesome credit for the work that she does…while stopping by, why not say hi, and thank you for bringing us the news!!!