Working Nipples

So, I’ve been thinking about the NC nipple law, if you’re unsure what I’m talking about, here’s what Raw Story had to say, titled: N.C. Lawmaker: Women should duct tape nipples to stay out of jail, I kid you not.

Republican state Rep. Rayne Brown told lawmakers that she was co-sponsoring the bill because activists had held a topless women’s rights rally in Asheville last summer, where as many as a dozen women bared their breasts.

Although Brown’s district is 100 miles from Asheville, she felt it was important to act before women tried to assert their rights again by going topless at another rally.

“You’ve got local governments passing ordinances to protect themselves from just this thing,” she explained. “These folks don’t need to be doing that, but they do it because they’re not sure about the law.”

Under the proposed law, women could spend up to six months in jail for a first offense. “Incidental” nipple exposure by breastfeeding mothers would be exempt from the law.

And then I was thinking about how there is an exemption to nipple exposure violations for breastfeeding and of course for strip clubs, but why the exceptions, why not just make all nipple exposure illegal? But then it came to me that the exception is for working nipples, if your nipples are idle or resting cover them up, pronto. Funny though, what work, pray tell, do men’s nipples do? (I have some thoughts and that comic is coming ;o)


NC Nipple Bill!

So perhaps you’ve heard that the right-wingers in the legislature in NC have decided that the most pressing issue of the times is to protect the populace from the scourge of topless women. Specifically their nipples. Yes, they would like for a nipple exposure in NC to net the offending woman a felony and possibly a six month jail term.

Sure you say, but they are making an exception for breastfeeding. Oh, so what happens if you’re nursing your toddler who then leaps off your lap and starts running willy nilly in a sort of ‘catch me if you can’ game, and you the mother are chasing your toddler and forget to latch up your bra? Your big giant breast is flapping around for all to see, but you can’t think about that, because your toddler is dangerously close to the road and that of course comes first, and then drumroll please, the police car comes up. Are you covered from felonious nipple exposure because you were breastfeeding a while ago?

It’s time to stop debating how much breast is too much breast and start to ask, why not my breast all the way, what’s so shameful about it that it has to be hid away? And lest the more civilized and decorous of us lament the downslide of civilization because of nipples all over the place, there are places in the world where breasts are allowed to be uncovered and they aren’t falling apart over it.

Nipple Bill is the real offense