NC Nipple Bill!

So perhaps you’ve heard that the right-wingers in the legislature in NC have decided that the most pressing issue of the times is to protect the populace from the scourge of topless women. Specifically their nipples. Yes, they would like for a nipple exposure in NC to net the offending woman a felony and possibly a six month jail term.

Sure you say, but they are making an exception for breastfeeding. Oh, so what happens if you’re nursing your toddler who then leaps off your lap and starts running willy nilly in a sort of ‘catch me if you can’ game, and you the mother are chasing your toddler and forget to latch up your bra? Your big giant breast is flapping around for all to see, but you can’t think about that, because your toddler is dangerously close to the road and that of course comes first, and then drumroll please, the police car comes up. Are you covered from felonious nipple exposure because you were breastfeeding a while ago?

It’s time to stop debating how much breast is too much breast and start to ask, why not my breast all the way, what’s so shameful about it that it has to be hid away? And lest the more civilized and decorous of us lament the downslide of civilization because of nipples all over the place, there are places in the world where breasts are allowed to be uncovered and they aren’t falling apart over it.

Nipple Bill is the real offense